Statistically, the first and last years of our lives are thought to be the most dangerous, and half-way through if you’re male and hitting the grand age of 47 life may have a nasty sting in store for you, could this be the male menopause-equivalent?
Today, the male psyche is threatened – role models and society are changing, and with them traditional values of work, that we marry, have 2.4 children, own our house and car etc.
Some may see this as a time of reflection, on what we have achieved and also what might we have missed out on? Unfortunately people tend to retain and add more weight to negative thoughts rather than than their positive counterparts.
Evolution continues, it has taken thousands of years to get to where we are now, and it’s quite mind-blowing to look back over the last 20-30 years and compare progress since, with the previous hundred or even fifty years.
There appears to be a ticking age-bomb (47) according to research by the Samaritans, which reveals that males between 45-49 suffer the highest levels of stress, and are three times more likely to commit suicide than women.
Possible Causes?
High, unmet expectations, resulting in low feelings of self-worth and wellbeing, creating high levels of anxiety and low levels of happiness and satisfaction with life.
In the song by Smokey Robinson, ‘The Tears of a Clown’, the title suggests a mask, concealing true emotions, and it appears that men are typically more reluctant to open up, to share their emotions with their better halves, family, or friends, instead keeping it in, so in time like a boiling kettle, the pressure builds.
Talking Therapy
As a professional coach I feel privileged to support people with their inner challenges, blockages, anchors, whatever is holding them back.
Whilst the coaching profession balks at the idea that coaching is therapy, clients say that it can be highly therapeutic. If you’re old enough to remember the old BT advert, it really is ‘good to talk, and this ‘talking therapy’ with your coach provides the opportunity to open up in total confidence, about what’s really going in your life, your hopes and fears, unrealised dreams.
My approach is holistic, considering the whole person, which allows clients to go a little deeper, and begin to understand the sources of their discomfort.
There is the potential for tears, but that’s not a bad thing, allowing clients to then feel a sense of relief, as confirmed in the following feedback.
“I feel different today…like a weight has been lifted”
Working together with clients, we start to extinguish flames of despair, replacing them with seeds of hope, producing a quite different mindset, which will be nurtured, and blossom, enjoying a fresh and more positive perspective.
It is really important that if you or somebody you know is showing signs of stress, like changed habits, drinking or smoking more, don’t suffer in silence, do seek professional support, and if more serious speak to a medical professional e.g. your GP, failing which the Samaritans are truly amazing for those who feel there is nothing left for them.
David aka HypnoCoach